I’m back….

April 25, 2016April 25, 2016Leave a comment

I know, I know…surely I have been captured by carnies and now have a career juggling on the high wire. Not quite. My absence has, in fact, been the result of something that is just as impactful and requires lots of balance and juggling.

I became a mom.

I became a mom by going through somewhat of a rough pregnancy that severely inhibited my ability to focus and write and do much outside of my daily requirements (and those were a stretch). No joke, I blew through all but two of my PTO days by November…and they reset every year in July.

I have learned so much through the process, let me tell you. And I am truly excited to get back into the swing of things. I never realized how being a parent would give the other aspects of my life a whole new depth.

Thank you for your patience, in my absence and as I jump back in (warning…I may reference my son/being a mom in ministry, etc a whole lot). A huge thanks to my husband who has single-handedly kept HGF going, while carrying a much heavier load in my absence and limited ability for the past year.

All that to say…I’m back, pumped, hopeful and with a new appreciation for the life that God has given me…because it includes this guy now:

13001117_10100511373490562_643496112237548650_n

Meet baby CJ-the newest tool the Lord is using to blow my mind when it comes to perceiving the love He has for us.

Here is to a grand new season!

~ Lyssah

Photo creds: Pinterest

Rethinking “Bivocational”

April 4, 2016April 5, 2016Leave a comment

For those who’ve been following us the past few years, you’ve probably noticed how I often branch “bivocational” into two camps: those who work multiple secular jobs and those with a gig in the ministerial arena¹.

However…in recent months, I’ve begun to question if this approach best captures the contrast.

‘Cause truth is: we’re all ministering something…because we’re all worshipping something.

Or to put it another way…we’re ministering something because somehow, someway (whether we realize it or not) we’re being continually empowered to attend the needs of someone else…whether a co-worker, a boss, a family member, a friend, a loved one, etc.

Now, before I continue, let me clarify this one point: when I say ‘ministerial arena’…I am (more often than not) talking about those who provide full-time or part-time service under the occupational ministry umbrella, but this doesn’t mean I believe other umbrellas are inferior.

Contrarily, I view all callings as unique given what God creates, assigns, and rations is infallible (Galatians 3:28, Genesis 1:27, Acts 10:34). So while the majority of what we discuss may naturally gear itself to those with one foot in a more ecclesiastical door, that doesn’t mean you fail if your feet find themselves on a different foundation².

You see…I think far too often those in the church, those in ministry tend to pump up their own cause through the mission God has called them to…

…which, to me, represents one of the greatest tragedies not talked about in forums like this.

And while I’m not insecure about people taking prior His Girl Fryday blogs out of context, I still wanted to take time on this beautiful Monday afternoon to autocorrect how I breach bivocational topics in the now…and then.

All that to say…moving forward, when I mention “bivocational”, please know I’m referring to all Jesus-followers as ministers under the covering of 1 Corinthians 4:1-7, 2 Corinthians 3:6, and 2 Corinthians 6:4.

‘Cause when we put them together, we discover…

Every Christian is a servant in ministry.
Whether we’re consultants, salesman, doctors, nurses, lawyers, accountants, teachers, journalists, designers…whether we’re a combo platter of diverse professionals and/or have liturgical responsibilities…God has made us sufficient to be ministers of life through His Spirit.
By our effort and endurance, we can demonstrate the power of God operating in and through us by reflecting His heart of love, purity, patience, kindness to the lost/broken/backslidden, etc.

So when you think about it, getting caught up in ranking standards with a “This person has more weight because ‘this’…’ …or “That person has it easy because ‘this’…’ attitude makes no sense ‘cause the reality is we all have a calling and a purpose for such a time as this…

…not to mention…

For me, the real question comes back to: are we being faithful to walk what God has called us to walk…and are we going to do so with an appreciation for the diversity by which God has fashioned us?

I’ll just let the mic drop there. 😉

So hopefully this ties up some loose ends. If not, feel free to shoot us a comment below…or drop us a personal message if you prefer the confidential route.

At any rate, we’d love to hear from you. ‘Til then, be strengthened, encouraged, and challenged to live as Christ.

Know we’re with you every step of the way.

Footnotes

A fair angle when looking to simplify
After all, we live and grow in stride…and in seasons. Where God has you today may look totally different tomorrow.

Photo creds: challies.com & recyclingchristiandollars.com

3 Resolutions Everyone Should Put at the Top of Their List in 2016

January 30, 2016January 30, 2016Leave a comment

Ever feel like January is a bunch of Groundhog Day’s stitched together…like an iPod stuck on replay?

Perhaps you’re like me in the sense you wonder why so many are still hopping on and off the resolution bandwagon, scrambling to find the right short-term fix for their long-term “needs”.

If you can relate, then hear me out. ‘Cause today we’re going to talk about how we can better fine-tune our resolutions¹ by focusing on three practical “heart goals” we can all aspire to in 2016.

Pray…more.

Okay, okay…I know this is a “chalk” point²; however, it’s still worth mentioning considering it’s the most powerful form of communication we can experience.

Think about it: God loves us so much…He gave us a limitless lifeline (i.e. prayer) so we can dial into Him at any time…and join Him in making a difference.

I don’t know about you, but I find this [very] encouraging…knowing we can pursue God through prayer and partner with Him in His work no matter where we are or what we’re going through.

Granted, as bivocational believers, there will be times the enemy tempts us into thinking our prayers are less effective (compared to full-time ministers)…and distracts us into less frequent, circumstance-driven prayer.

However, the truth is: we can pray boldly and effectively because we’re made righteous through Christ (James 5:16)…and are equipped with a purpose and a plan that no one can strip away.

Thus, it’s important we take time to consider how God wants to use us through the power of prayer in 2016, whether it involves healing the brokenhearted…opening closed doors to advance the mystery of God…and/or shedding light on the truth of who God is (Colossians 4:3, Ephesians 5:13).

2) Memorize…more.

To be honest…I’m not the biggest fan of memorization; not because it’s a waste of time³, but because I’m simply not that good at it…it’s somewhat rudimentary (as a learning technique)…plus I’m perfectly content being familiar with as many things as I can.

So it should be no surprise when I say I don’t often involve memorization when studying the Word, considering I’d rather get the concept than the verbatim.

However…this doesn’t mean memorization doesn’t have a place in our spiritual walk…or that I’m even correct in my overall assessment. In fact, I’d submit it’s one of the most underrated forms of spiritual preparation (abiding + equipping).

Consider 1 Peter 3:15: “…but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…”

At the sake of sounding cheesy, whenever I hear “being prepared to make a defense“, I immediately imagine a 19th century cowboy minister being able “draw” the words of God on demand…like John Wayne, except instead of a Winchester Model, you have powerful words of two-edged truth.

But though Peter isn’t emphasizing a particular apologetic discipline here, it can be said memorization is a worthy component to any readiness strategy, given its tendency to root head faith deeper into heart faith.

My advice? Don’t hesitate to memorize more…and take advantage of the fact there’s an app for that (See “Fighter Verses” app (right screenshot); Jeff Ling’s post for more insight here).

3) Reach out…more.

Whenever we hear “reach out”, it’s easy to think go on more mission trips or go to the soup kitchen every weekend. But in this case, when I say “reach out”, I’m talking about confidently pursuing life-on-life opportunities…in the flesh. Person-to-person…face-to-face. Yes, there is a place for online community and virtual relationship (as I wrote about a few weeks ago); however, with more of our social interaction taking place by “i-Products” these days, it’s important we commune intentionally, especially if leaving a Kingdom legacy matters to us.

Case in point: A couple years back, my wife and I talked about this issue…and at the end of our conversation, she challenged me to initiate three hangouts/phone-calls (outside my normal routine) a month for three months.

At first, I had my reservations…especially since we were in the middle of a relationally dry season. But as I started to carry out the charge, it wasn’t long before I realized this is what I was made for; this is what I should be doing more often!

I’m telling you…simply putting myself out there was a game-changer. In fact, had I not gone into “challenge accepted” mode, I wouldn’t have been able to listen, encourage, and pray God’s will/best into action the way God had for me.

You see…often times, we think we have something to lose being vulnerable and available, but once we realize this kind of withdrawal mentality doesn’t come from God, we can take it captive and ultimately discover the pure thrill of reaching out on purpose.

In light of this, my encouragement to you, friends, is to keep the foot on the gas pedal this year…to keep doing the good things you’ve been doing…just more of it.

Seriously, just imagine if we all got in on this…how many more lives would be impacted…

Footnotes

As January fades into February…I find the transition to be a great time to reevaluate my resolutions. After all, when we aim to cling to what is good, we should also want to cling to what is necessary…and appointed for such a time as this…so at the end of the day, we may reach the prize to which we’re running towards
“Chalk” point = an obvious statement worthy of mention
Though I’d say otherwise if it’s used as a primary means of retaining knowledge

Photo credits: themogulmom.com

How to Survive a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Crappy Day

September 22, 2015September 22, 2015Leave a comment

Have you ever had a really, really, really bad day?

You know…the kind of day where absolutely nothing goes right…where the only musterable reaction is a masquerading laughter to hide behind…

Well, let’s just say I had one of those infamous episodes recently…

…one that was not only terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad all wrapped into one…but one that gave a whole new (and literal) meaning of what it’s like to have a ‘crappy day’…

It all started last Wednesday when I returned home from a decent day at work, ironically enough.I was on the phone with my wife discussing our next-day travels to Atlanta when I suddenly slammed into a brick wall…disguised as an offensive odor straight out of a National Geographic documentary gone wrong.

The smell was downright unbearable…like fermented dung reeking from the decaying innards of an infested beast.

Okay, okay…maybe it wasn’t that bad, but clearly…something was not right.

I mean…if you deck the halls with cinnamon branches and autumn-wreath scented candles one weekend and a few days later, come home to a fragrance of “hazy aftermath o’ nuclear bowel explosion”…something has to be off, right?

At any rate, I could only pray the stench belonged to a recently deceased rodent rotting in certain porcelain confines. Yet, as I slowly crept towards Selah’s crate, the writing on the wall became quite clear…

…it just so happened to be in the form of droopy ordure (feces).

Before I continue, let me just say maybe someday, I’ll unlock the mystery of how projectile excrement can condensate outside caged quarters while also splattering the wall as if it was an abstract Jackson Pollock painting. For now, I’ll just say I found Selah miserably trapped in a sharty prison…and it was up to me to set her free from the demonic oppression that had possessed her stool.

So after spending the next hour conquering Selah’s anal glands as well as my chemoreceptor triggers, I contacted my wife a second time to discuss our ever-evolving Wednesday night gameplan. Initially, I was to meet Lyssah at church following [what I thought would be] a brief dog-sitting break to pick her up from a women’s ministry promo vid¹shooting for Sunday service. We’d then return home, eat dinner, and head back out to church for our youth discipleship gathering. But as it turned out, due to changes in Selah’s health as well as our church’s Wednesday night schedule², Lyssah would have to forgo youth service to tend Selah’s “issues”, leaving me to fly solo on the youth front.

A perfectly understandable predicament…all things considered; however, having lost 45 minutes cleaning fecal matter, an additional 30 minutes due to our church’s Wednesday night time shift, and an additional 10 minutes of extra prep time as a result of Lyssah’s impending absence, I realized I had no choice but to leave Selah unattended, considering we had no “plan B” for her now “out-of-commission” crate.

Granted, hindsight is 20/20, but at the time, it seemed like a worthy risk. After all, Lyssah was already on her way home…and I mean, c’mon…what damage could Selah possibly do in just fifteen minutes?

Well, as it turned out…quite a bit actually.

Of course, I can’t vouch for every canine conundrum, but what I can say is at some point during that fifteen minute window, Selah had snuck into the bedroom, located the sparkling spectacle that was my wife’s engagement ring…and devoured it³.

Now, thankfully, I wasn’t aware of this prior to service; however, after returning home to a wife and dog pawing around the bedroom floor on all fours, it didn’t take long for any incurred exuberance to dissipate.

A quick glance at my wife’s eyes told me everything.

Something valuable had gone missing…

…and something just as valuable had contributed to it.

Needless to say, once I realized our furry companion had consumed Lyssah’s engagement ring, I couldn’t help but wonder what the crap⁴ was going on. Yet, as I watched my wife morph into a modern day version of the woman looking for her lost coin (Luke 15:8-10), it hit me how our joy was being deliberately pursued.

So Lyssah and I prayed, packed our suitcases, watched some 30 Rock, then prayed some more…residually discouraged…yet hopeful God would shed light on the missing ring…and cure Selah’s rectal dysfunction.

The next day, as we started our Georgia journey, we realized we hadn’t taken every negative thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) to the obedience of Christ. Having recently walked this issue out with LEGACYouth, we knew full well what we needed to do.

First, we recognized we’d been under assault from the enemy. So we acknowledged our authority in Christ and rebuked his schemes. Secondly, we confessed we hadn’t been as immediate in our obedience to overcome. So we repented and asked God to forgive us and redeem any unsurrendered part of our hearts. Thirdly, we renounced our fear and replaced it with godly belief and truth. And lastly, we expressed thanksgiving unto the Lord for all He had done for us.

Once we took these steps and laid our troubles at the feet of Jesus, I kid you not…the atmosphere in the car completely changed.

Suddenly, we felt secure in our circumstances knowing we’d been given everything we needed to be content in the Lord. Suddenly we felt excited knowing there was nothing Satan could do to break our confidence in Christ. And suddenly, we felt hopeful that God would meet our needs…and then some.

You talk about a weary car-ride transforming into a triumphant road-trip…no question, we had entered into a new peace as we crossed over into a new place…both internally and locationally.

So I guess the moral of the story is: you may feel the emoji of your life is nothing more than a steamy pile of crap. You may feel burdened by adverse circumstances…and think there’s nothing you can do when the devil comes after you.

But I’m telling you…when you realize your joy is being pursued, pursue joy in the Lord right back…choose to see it as strength in the times you feel Satan is after your weakness. And if you feel powerless to do this, then just pray…even if you feel you don’t have the words or the energy. Why? ‘Cause it’s in these moments God wants to reveal His power to you…to encourage you…and remind you that He’ll not only strengthen you in the dark times…He is your strength every second of every day!

My encouragement to you, friends, is be unwavering in your courage, especially when Satan comes knocking at your door seeking to rob you of the light you carry. Rather than feel helpless and/or assume you’ve done something wrong, why not let Jesus answer the call. After all, as Billy Graham once said, He’s the best home security system there is.

Footnotes

1) Nightly classes had moved to a 6:30-8:00 pm timeslot as opposed to the usual 7:00-8:30 pm

2) A last-second assignment that had just been given to us the day before, mind you

3) A peculiar stunt considering she’d never done something like this before

4) Pun intended

Photo credits: sarah.theworkexperiment.com, nikkifort.com, https://tm-pilbox.global.ssl.fastly.net

3 Challenges for Today’s Youth Leaders

June 23, 2015August 19, 2019Leave a comment

In a previous post, I outlined five important lessons for 21^st century youth pastors. Today, I’m going to switch gears by discussing three of the biggest challenges youth leaders face on a daily basis.

1) The Parent-Youth Pastor Relationship

As a parent of two under two, I can’t fully relate to the stress of seasoned parents; however, while I may not have conquered potty training or the volcano science fair project, I do know:

While parents understand their youth better, this doesn’t mean they understand the youth group better¹.
While parents can be a youth pastor’s most challenging relationship, if trust and communication is established from the get-go, it will have a greater opportunity to flourish.

In my experience, I’ve seen it all: parents asking other parents or staff questions they should be asking me, parents criticizing my effort to other pastors and parents, parents pulling their kids out of youth group without explanation, parents not making any effort to connect, parents not making any effort to encourage their youth to connect, parents who think they know me because they know my parents, parents who volunteered with hidden agendas, parents overprotecting their kids based on vain assumptions…I could go on.

Yet, by conquering these offenses, I’ve often found the motivation to not only tend these challenging relationships with a pure heart, but maximize parental buy-in with a clearer understanding of God’s vision for their youth. Remember to the extent you press through, to that extent you’ll find it easier to:

Believe the best, not just hope the best
Be faithful in the big andsmall
Bury grudges
Fully rely on God without interdependences
Proactively own mistakes
Partner with parents²

For instance, after learning one of my parents had a gift for teaching music, I decided to extend him an opportunity to help me create a youth worship band. In this way, I not only invested in one of his passions and spiritual gifts, but also invited him into a piece of the overall vision.

2) The Engage Factor

As much as I love student ministry, engaging families skeptical of youth group is a consistent challenge. From my end, youth should have a defined place of identity and influence in the body at large. Unfortunately, with each passing year, I see many youth and youth parents disconnect from youth ministry fearing youth group will conflict with their standards.

Perhaps you’ve noticed the same thing, wondering why parents are so quick to withdraw before a conversation can be had. If so, remember if their standards are to be extended, then they must be empowered to be encouraged.

Again, I may be a fairly young parent, but I’m also a seasoned youth leader appreciative of having learned the heart of worship, the value of dependence, and the necessity of Hebrews 10:24-25 community in youth group.³

So, if you’re like me, having learned the essentiality of youth group through years of experience, it makes sense for us, as shepherds, to want ‘fence families’ (i.e. uncommitted attenders with uninvolved youth) to know the same; however, it’s in these moments we must exchange entitlement⁴for encouragement.

For while it’s true more people are basing their engagement on circumstance and convenience as opposed to conviction, we must remember it’s not our responsibility to reverse the trend. Rather it’s our privilege to pray God inspires understanding of what commitment in community looks like…while modeling it along the way.

I remember with one family years back, understanding the needs of their rising youth was a huge challenge. Often times, they’d reach out inviting me to pray over their youth on a Sunday morning and then go into radio silence for weeks leaving me to wonder if I had done something wrong. Thankfully, the more I started to pray outside my understanding, the more I started to relate within my understanding. As it turned out, the youth wrestled with autism and the parents, who thought they had communicated this to me, went years assuming I knew. Only once we bridged the misunderstanding did communication and community between me and the family begin to improve; however, looking back, it’s clear had I not repeatedly surrendered my questions to God, I likely would have lacked the humility to own my ignorance.

3) Pressure to Perform

Perhaps the most oppressive challenge in this list involves the pressure to perform. While this struggle may vary from person to person, the common denominator is usually a fear of appearances.

For example, as a rookie youth pastor, arguably my greatest insecurity was feeling less spiritual than my superiors. Accordingly, I started embracing a performance mentality, growing more concerned over aesthetic matters than shepherding community.

However, after a moment of counsel with one of my mentors, who also happened to be a youth parent at the time, my eyes were opened to the places I was unnecessarily striving in. For that reason, I was able to repent and turn from my pride.

Whatever the case, it’s critically important for youth ministers not to let fear generate action since a priority of execution as opposed to service will hinder what relying on God looks like. To paraphrase Alistair Begg, in modeling only partial dependency, we compromise our equipping of young people to conquer sin and walk with God.

Bottom line: If our initiative isn’t “simply Jesus”, then we not only dilute our leadership, but also minimize the potential of God’s Spirit transforming youth from the inside-out.

Selah.

Footnotes

Specifically vision and mission. Also, it does concern me how some are not taking ownership of their kids’ spiritual growth. While some parents are extremely overprotective, others can rely too heavily on the church to change their kids.
As opposed to settling for intermittent interaction
In ways I could only learn in youth group
Specifically, knowing what’s going on behind the scenes