Grow ⬆️ Up: A Call for Us in 2024 (Part 1)

After a disappointing 2023, I’ve been pondering pathways for maturation in recent weeks. Often, when we come off a down year, we take inventory of what went wrong and why; however, let’s be honest: How frequently do we integrate prayer and counsel into the pathways we set?

In my case, 2023 was a story of transition and survival, a season in which healing, stability, and community struggled to gain traction. On several occasions, Lys and I were compelled to question things that shouldn’t have happened, the silence we experienced from some of our social spheres atop the list.¹

To add insult to injury, life in last year’s office space wasn’t any better. Having arguably been moved to the wrong team to start the year, I found myself in an occupational Pandora’s Box, stuck on an island yet trapped within a cubical greenhouse – the air free for some but borderline toxic for others.² Consequently, I fell out of certain rhythms of health and behavior that in a typical year would have been evident.

Now, to be fair, a mulligan makes sense given how Lys and I were rung through the ringer in 2021 and 2022. Still, as one beat up from those years, I shouldn’t have matched any time I sensed an attitude shift or withdrawal, writing off some as casualties of what I couldn’t control. Oh, if I could go back, I would and hand on shoulder, remind that Cam to shun the numbness. I guess that’s why they say hindsight is a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.

Yet, despite these dissatisfactions, I’ve been hungry to convert brokenness into something good, something healthy, something authentic. After all, that’s the magic of a new year and why I’ve been stirred to fast regarding the year ahead. ‘Cause truth is: I don’t want to come anywhere near who and where I was last year. Perhaps some of you can relate having been pressed without precedence in recent years?

Either way, as I finalize this internal audit, I celebrate the changes being made but also understand receiving fresh grace and compassion can be arduous without a game-plan, especially without daily forgiveness and surrender.

Which brings me to why I’m writing this. During the past few days, a phrase has been activating in my spirit, like a banner of the heart being raised to the rafters. Chances are you’ve heard these words, albeit in negative connotations as standard for most. Unburying the lead, these words I present are not only a motto for the year but something we should all aspire to each day we live and breathe. 

What I’m saying is… 

As Matthew 5:48 says, “You’re kingdom [agents, ambassadors representing God’s ministry of reconciliation]. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (MSG)

But Cam, how do we get there? How do we connect the dots between our ‘loved by God’ identity and the discouragement we feel chained to? 

First, you must return to the Father heart of God:

I’m not writing all this as a neighborhood scold to shame you. I’m writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father. I’m not, you know, asking you to do anything I’m not already doing myself.” ~ 1 Corinthians 4:14-16 (MSG)

After marinating in the Father’s warmth, embrace His intent for you to discover His love and how it can help you redirect or mature in specific ways, each according to His likeness:

God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. He keeps us in step with each other. His very breath and blood flow through us, nourishing us so that we will grow up healthy in God, robust in love. ~ Ephesians 4:14-16 (MSG)

Next, detach (or distance yourself) from unhealthy people and situations weighing your faith down:

Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.” ~ Colossians 2:18-19 (MSG)

Replace childlike impulses with childlike faith, innocence, even curiosity in the ways of the Spirit:

So come on, let’s leave the preschool fingerpainting exercises on Christ and get on with the grand work of art. Grow up in Christ. The basic foundational truths are in place: turning your back on “salvation by self-help” and turning in trust toward God; baptismal instructions; laying on of hands; resurrection of the dead; eternal judgment. God helping us, we’ll stay true to all that. But there’s so much more. Let’s get on with it!” ~ Hebrews 6:1-3 (MSG)

Finally, clean house! Once you’ve repented of your shortcomings, renounced any agreements with the enemy, and prayed God’s highest to cover your soul hurts, declare thanksgiving to God, over your family, and for Him to anoint the stepping stones on which you’re called to walk.

Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy, and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants…drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.” ~ 1 Peter 2:1-3 (MSG)

Final disclaimer: While this list is a mere guide and doesn’t represent all the steps you need to take to correct course, I encourage you to seek the Lord to discern how He wants you to facilitate the fireplaces of your hearts in 2024. Ask yourself: “What agreements and unholy packs need to be broken off? What dead weights do I need to cut ties with? What pursuits do I need to put on the backburner, at least for a short time? In what ways should I reprioritize my time, energy, and investments? In what ways do I need to make right with my neighbor? Is there any clear peace or lack thereof in any category of life? Do I sense any open doors or change in direction? If so, who is leading me? More importantly, what or who is the source of my fire? And if I’m not burning, what is getting in the way?

While the answers will vary, understand even in your weakness and weakest, He is strength and strongest. Somehow, someway, you will feel the sweet release of reset and recalibration; however, be advised you can’t get there without effort, intentionality, and reposturing.

During my next post, I will share some additional insight on how to level up at work with these paradigm filters applied. Until then, you got this! Go forth and go get ‘em…in Jesus’ name.

Selah.

Graphic creds: Vecteezy; sermon by Ian Gilchrist (preached at One Church Home on 1/7/24)

Footnotes

  1. Note: I can’t speak for everyone, but I imagine some of you who’ve lost a loved one can relate to the social leprosy incurred after-the-fact. More on this subject later, though in the meantime, dear church, as far as it be with you, please be the church unconditionally.
  2. Friends, if you taste rejection concerning who you’re called to be, what you bring to the table, etc., do not clap the dust off your sandals prematurely. Rather, stay consistent to team expectations, honor authorities and colleagues, and keep both hands on the plow until you’ve reached the finish line. Again, more on ideal exit strategy once full stock has been taken.

Year in Review: A Look Back at 2023

Thursday, August 24, 2023

I’m taking in a familiar scene, a road once trudged 1,934 times over 7 years, give or take a few. By all means, I should be feeling nauseous, frail like the cracks on the sidewalk below.

But not this day. Not on this quest back to the desert where once upon a time, I punched in a rare card. Oh, to be a youth pastor with a full-time governmental job on the side. Those were the days, the former, I miss fondly. 

In the air is the smell of victory as I trek this iconic incline disguised as an inverted hourglass. An interview? With the State? No way you could have convinced me a year ago I would be in that situation. Then again, as they say, expect the unexpected and you’ll never be surprised or disappointed. Tell that to a desperate hunter living on a prayer wondering how the heck it came to this.

Indeed, to tell the tale of 2023, you must go back to the beginning, a point when red flags were yellow and the hope for a better year was still alive. A promotion to a new department at work. Check. A fresh slate post-Jubilee. Check. Hot off a fruitful Christmas NICU outreach. Check. Certainly, some anticipations were well founded.

Yet, despite those hopeful prospects, there were apprehensions as the new year rang, the biggest one being our final small Fry in the oven with no one aware except Lys’ parents. In a vacuum, there was excitement, a recognition of God’s restoration at work. Still, we knew despite my promotion at work, it wasn’t going to be enough to make ends meet based on a poorly reshuffled financial deck and a lack of quality benefits. TennCare, the system is helpful but doesn’t cover everything. Somehow, some way, God was going to have to do what only He could.

Freshly commissioned by my former team of three years, early expectations were high the year ahead could be both a collective step up. Unfortunately, the writing on the wall would start to show in light of questionable corporate decisions, enough to know what was now becoming clear: 2023 was going to be my last year at Foundation Group, shades of four years prior when God guided me out of TDOT. I didn’t know how the transition would occur. All I knew is like the ending scene from Mary Poppins, the weather vane within had completed turned. Slowly but surely, a piece of me was starting to fade.

With the kids in school to start the year (shout out to Greater Things), Lys and I had to pull out all the stops to make ends meet. We started with one freelancing side hustle (lost to AI in May) and a few ministerial endeavors on the board; however, they were not enough to offset the support cutoff that took place following Jubilee’s passing. For the first time in our married life, we had to find creative means from the bottom of the barrel to stitch paychecks together. This included eight BioLife Plasma appointments between December 8, 2022 and January 19, 2023, the latter of which prompted my donation retirement having almost passed out due to blood loss. Freak plasma accidents, they can be a bear in a [matter] of speaking. 😉 

The following week, I started an eBay store to offload sports cards, memorabilia, and apparel I didn’t need. While gross sales were much higher than expected the first 4-5 months, the operation only served to connect weekly financial dots and did little to help us pull equity out of our home.  On the verge of bankruptcy only months before Aili’s arrival, Lys and I had no choice but to pray and pray often for open doors. In our hearts, we knew provision would come. We just didn’t know how the details and timelines would shape out.

As winter gave way to spring, our family received a generous offer to visit Port Saint Joe, Florida for our first full family vacation. During our time away, Lys and I were able to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary while the kids enjoyed their inaugural beach debut.

In terms of broader stretches, the late March to early May time frame was notable for two occurrences:

1) On March 27, The Gate Church hosted my dad’s 50 Years of Ministry Celebration in what was truly a special night for our family.

2) From March 21 – May 9, Lys and I participated in a grief support group at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in what would become a defining sequence for the rest of the year. Despite the proximity to where Jubilee died, we felt at home with our new friends, some of whom we still keep in contact with. As only the second bereaved parent support group in Vanderbilt’s history, our cohort proved to be an enlightening experience for several nurses on staff. From what we understand, more support groups are expected to launch in 2024 for those who endured Jubilee journeys of their own.

Like April, June was a meaningful month, albeit for different reasons. In a top three memory of the year, Lys and I took a weekend away to Moscow, Tennessee, to participate in a While We’re Waiting Retreat for bereaved parents. Like the Vanderbilt support group, the event would feature a balanced blend of community, healing, and direct support, essentials we desperately needed and weren’t finding anywhere else at the time. The empowerment and activation from the weekend would not only result in more friends but a guest appearance on the While We’re Waiting podcast in October and eventual board approval to start the first middle Tennessee chapter for the 2024 calendar year.

Apart from support groups, the dominant storylines heading into July were Lyssah’s pregnancy (by far the smoothest of all five kids), leading more Zoom calls with the Circuit Riders, and the job hunt reaching a fever pitch. Among the 200 applications sent on Indeed and LinkedIn between July-October 2023, roughly 8-10 resulted in fruitful networking including a pipeline for Foundation Group that specialized in not-for-profits. 

Of course, the ultimate Fry-light would occur Friday, July 28, the day on which Aili was born. Although her earthly entrance doesn’t offset the incompleteness Lys and I feel, the wonder of God’s faithfulness as evident through the moment struck a victorious nerve in the context of God’s sovereignty and our testimony unfolding. Literal beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3), Aili’s arrival was more than cathartic but a sweet reminder to praise God for the way He ministers encouragement and comfort to the brokenhearted. Like a gift that keeps on giving, Aili continues to warm our hearts through smiles and reflections of divine providence. Even in the wake of last year’s tragedy, the surrealness of her presence has, no question, bonded our family together in greater measure.

Fast-forward to November 7 and the job search finally concluded after five months of persistent effort. Honestly, I will never forget the call I received from Mercy Multiplied during which they confirmed an offer for me to become their Accounting Manager, instantly justifying God’s call from January and the many closed doors that preceded in the months following. To think my application came in one day before the position was pulled from online job boards blows my mind – just another example of how God is faithful to guide and provide especially in the clutch. Since then, I’ve been able to find footing in a healthier environment working for Nancy Alcorn and her Finance team. No doubt, the experience, highlighted by the Merry Mercy 40th Anniversary Celebration earlier this month, has been a breath of fresh air. 

And so, as the sun sets on 2023, I bid it adieu and relish the opportunity to start afresh and anew. Occasionally, I think back to that day in January, the one BioLife missed the vein, and how it triggered a resonating desire for the look of life to change in every facet outside immediate family and friends; however, I also remember praying, ‘Lord, even if these changes don’t happen, even if I feel like I’m sinking at the end of the year, give me healthy wife/healthy baby and I will gladly take it‘. Safe to say that request accrued dividend and interest as Aili, and her older sibling trio continue to mature in stature with Lys making progress towards 2020 levels of health.

Still, even with the advances of late, the hurts linger. Moving on is hard; adjusting to life post-Juby (while we’re gettin’ there) is hard; learning your youngest son is auti..ahem…neurodivergent…is hard; employing financial wisdom is hard; not feeling seeded in crucial areas…you guessed it…is hard. Then again, life was never meant to be easy and I’m quickly reminded how we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us even when we feel alone, disappointed, unheard, misunderstood, even neglected. Hence, why Lys and I are not discouraged to the point of wavering despite 2023 going down as the roughest year since 2011. For as 2021 and 2022 taught us…

…clinging to hope at the end of your rope is not just a hell to pass through but a hotspot to discover God’s love amidst the endurance.

Thus, while 2023 felt like navigating a pothole-laden highway, we can give testament to God as a solid foundation amidst the voids. Despite the adversities, I give Him all the praise for how he’s helped me put the family on my back and carry them through streams of troubled water this year. 

To new faces and friendly spaces, we thank you for being valued connections in life and as part of our support network. To those on the other side, we thank you as well for your part in making us stronger. Just as without suffering and chaos, there cannot be compassion and peace, so too we cannot grow stronger without deficits and prompts to overcome. Accordingly, we can be grateful for the situations that awaken us to draw closer to Jesus regardless of the specifics involved. Granted, we understand many of you reading this have sowed refreshment and have extended goodwill to many during the past few years. For that, we share our warmest regards and wish you nothing but God’s best this holiday season.

May you all be blessed and enriched with the grandeur of His highest,

~ Cameron (and Lyssah) Fry

Prayer Points (in no particular order)

  1. Favor with Cameron’s new job at Mercy Multiplied
  2. Favor with the launch of the While We’re Waiting Nashville small group
  3. Ministerial direction (i.e. knowing where God wants to plant us in 2024) 
  4. Mentoring/networking opportunities (i.e. knowing who we’re to team with/invest relationally)
  5. New work opportunities for Lyssah (remote or hybrid)
  6. Family health/Milo’s occupational therapy
  7. Progress with Cameron’s Jubilee Journey book and a jumpstart of the His Girl Fryday podcast
  8. Continued healing and recovery post-Jubilee

Cover graphic creds: Vecteezy

3 Underrated Life Lessons from ‘Elf’

Originally written 12/25/15; revised 12/11/23

Every Christmas, I somehow, some way find myself taking in another round of ‘Elf‘. After all, you leave your TV on long enough during December, it’s bound to happen. Although the movie isn’t exactly my cup of tea, I’d be a cotton-headed ninny muggins if I said there weren’t any truths tucked within the movie’s many memorable moments.

Thus, in the spirit of modern day parables, here are three life lessons inspired by Elf quotes worth eating up this holiday season…

————————————————————————————————————————————————

  1. Jovie: “It IS a crappy cup of coffee.”Buddy: “No, it’s the world’s BEST cup of coffee.”

Believing the best isn’t always easy. I know for me, I’d rather ‘get real’ with what’s in front of me than entertain what’s outside of me. Yet, I also know, while honest assessment is certainly a fair practice, when it becomes boxed in by circumstances, opportunities to shine hope into them can be missed.

In the case of Buddy the Elf, his innocent ignorance, though awkward, opens the door for humility…

…not only for the coffee shop to step up to its potential, but for Jovie to believe it could happen.

Accordingly, I can appreciate how Buddy, though delusional, speaks life into what could be, rather than reduce an entire identity to one subpar sip.

Bottom line: While there’s a time to be honest, a time to be transparent, there’s never a time to doubt, even if the best is out of sight, out of mind. ————————————————————————————————————————————————

2. Buddy: “Deb, you have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card.”

Like point #1, showing encouragement isn’t always easy either. Political incorrectness, missing the punch-line, poor delivery mechanics, futile grudges…

…honestly, it’s crazy the excuses we tolerate all for the sake of not looking (or sounding) like a moron.

But with Buddy, not only do you find a model of self-security, but you also see what happens when driven joy and childlike faith collide in a relational context. Despite his lack of filter, Buddy ultimately reminds us it’s better to encourage as a function of determined giving as opposed to convenient action.

Bottom line: If you have something good to say, don’t just say it…give it.————————————————————————————————————————————————

3. Buddy: “SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA’S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!”

I’ve often wondered why so many wear their faith like a security blanket, only to ditch it when the ‘heat’ is turned up.

It’s like…we have no problem investing in eternal insurance…but also have no problem catering to indifference whenever the ‘rubber meets the road’.  

But truth is: when we ‘selah’ on simply Jesus and the joy set before us, it makes perfect sense to get excited and share that enthusiasm with those around us; hence, why Buddy’s reaction here is so priceless given it captures the true spirit of Christmas and reminds us how we’re to celebrate God’s past, present, and future faithfulness.

For when we consider the fact Jesus is coming again, to once more redeem humanity from depravity, we ultimately set ourselves up to trust Christ in a way that fuels an eagerness for that coming.

Bottom line: Stand up, be proud…live your faith out loud…

‘…cause seriously…we have the privilege of knowing the King of Kings & Lord of Lords. How freakin’ awesome is that!?!

Graphic cover creds: Giphy

Black Whole: The Importance of Letting God Fill Your Voids

A crisp autumn evening is being tucked away with coos as I type this.

Lord knows I need the positive vibes given how bittersweet a month it’s been, not to mention its placement amid an extremely uncomfortable season. Like recent years, Lys & I have been holding on for dear life of late though on this side of Jubilee, the desperation has been different, dare I say, next level.

No question, the ultimate theme of 2023 has been simultaneous grieving and hopeful anticipation. To go from losing a daughter to gaining one in less than 11 months, that’s..*sigh*…that’s insanity at its finest and most glorious. At least for what can be known this side of heaven.

Still, going back to this time last year, I couldn’t have possibly imagined the first full year of what has become a new era within the Fry family journey. The trials and testings, the depth of depressions, the resilience faith has compelled us to, I mean, you’re talking about a year I can’t wait to recap in 5-6 weeks once the New Year comes into greater focus.

For now, I want to offer some perspective to the broken heart along with some zest and zeal to the fatigued.

While it’s true, there will be times when you’re heard, understood, treated fairly, etc., there are other times you’re not supposed to be. As hard as that is to receive, especially during challenging circumstances, it’s a peace-inducing reality when you think about it. For even when you’re run into the ground as part of one’s abuse of the plow, there is a joy to take hold – one that makes little sense at first but becomes more powerful when you say ‘yes’ to it.

For instance, there have been moments in recent months when I’ve felt stuck on an island, crying out into the void, wondering who might hear if I supplicate loud enough. In those instances, the mind craves certain thoughts to be taken captive alongside the white noise and dead silence.

But then God shows up, meets me in the turbulence, and sweetly reminds me, ‘Son, I see the holes you’re walking on. I am here. Let me be and fill your void!

And instantly, I’m okay again – a calibrated vessel with the Staples button resounding within: Well then…that was easy.

Now, hear me: I’m not trying to belittle whatever chaos you’re walking through. I’m just looking to charge your spirit. If you’re coming out of a stretch in which you’ve been a fish out of water, don’t just desire water; rather, believe there’s a river with your name on it. You may feel helpless in the immediate flopping on terrain you weren’t designed for, but this doesn’t mean you have to lose heart in light of where you’re going.

Which brings me back to why I’m writing this: If you’re running on empty today, if you’re feeling abandoned or overlooked, let God be, fill, even shape your void! For in this transaction, you allow your Creator to be the receiver of your lack, your fear, your heart to belong and be known. You see, far too often, we ask God to remove our voids and repair our deficits. I recall a specific situation in which I told God, “If you can just make a bridge for me here, I’ll be sure to walk on it.’

However, as I now know, if I’m trusting God’s thoughts and ways as higher (Isaiah 55:8-9), then the pragmatic move is to follow His leading regardless of direction. Like me, you may think you need a bridge when what you really need is a bypass, a nudge, an about-face, heck, even a jump into a boat going under it. Point is: The same reason you’re not alone is the same reason you can take heart when you feel stuck, lost, or misused. As I’ve said before, the best scenic routes in life are often detours. Accordingly, don’t be surprised if your ‘yes’ to God increases the probability of them. After all, we were made to fully rely on God in all things, including our voids as painful they may be. Why not dare to see God in them as we pray and cast our cares and embrace His goodness?

As the prophet continues in v. 10-11:

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth…giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me void, but shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Selah.

Graphic cover creds: Wallpapers.com

Let Go, My Ego

Dear ego, 

I don’t get you. In stealth, you pursue me. In subterfuge, you derail me. 

As braincepts draw to the kibbutz in Beeri, the next winter in Ukraine, my mind is blown in a different way. How much I can be fool, how often I succumb to insecurity, vanity, the whispers within desperate to find danger, the next blind spot, letdown, etc.

In all sincerity, for the love of God…

And while you’re at it, stop locking me up as if I’m some victim turned prisoner. Stop trying to convince me these bars were set by my brothers when in fact I cemented them. Bars of false comfort, self-preservation…they are protection from nothing, a greenhouse trapping offense and cynicism. 

My pride inflates within your grasp and slips passive-aggressiveness under the door.

Why do I waste time seeking affirmation from the wise? Why do I look for people to prove themselves, to stay themselves? Especially from those who radiate what is good but are ultimately not the source, not the answer. Nothing and nowhere close to the splendor of you? 

In all sincerity, for the love of God…

You have no authority, control, or power over me. When I tell this to the principles that bind, the elemental spirits of the world, that’s your cue too. Even if you linger, I will no longer bow to your recriminations at unholy hours. Rather, I will yield to Lordship, the only embraceable solution and way out worth taking. 

And for the record, I’m not immune to your cunning, the way you convert expectations into burdens and burdens into bitterness. You feed my resentment and the idea I deserve more, that I’m worth something apart from my Maker. Truth be told, nothing could be further. 

So, stop searching me out. Stop climbing my city’s walls. I’m devout but not to your calls. Someday soon, I will be the one to insult you. 

For now, I relinquish my futile ploys, the entitlement to turn on people if I sense withdrawal and using encouragement withholding as warfare, among others. In place, I ask in all humility: Get behind me, ego. You weren’t intended to have any part with me. Why should you have a place where I’m going? 

Time to L e Go

Selah.

Graphic creds: Threadless