So, I feel the need to write this update. Credit fresh conviction though part of this pondering has been brewing for the past few months.
Assessing the past few years of His Girl Fryday, I admit I have not been true to the original intent of this project. For over five years (2015-2020), I tailored my posts to the ‘marketplace minister’ discussing matters relative to vocational identity and workplace troubleshooting. We tackled topics pertaining to influence, team building, Scripture as best practice, work as worship and spiritual warfare, even applications and tools to simplify the hustle and bustle.
But for the last few years, well, if you’ve been following our family’s story, you understand how the epicenter of theme and trope had to change. In fact, this whole decade has been downright crazy starting with the COVID-19 pandemic, health complications with Everly late 2020/early 2021, and, of course, the Juby Journey from summer 2021 to fall 2022. In between all this, you had job transition, EMDR therapy, home remodeling, PTSD, and plenty of car trauma just to name a few. Needless to say, our core narrative has been compelled to adapt. And for whatever reason, I feel apologetic I haven’t been churning out more work-centric content to help build a bridge for the bivocational as our tagline proudly states.
Part of me has wondered if I should retire the endeavor and/or start a separate site to be a home to non-vocational musings, kind of like a catch-all to anything outside the His Girl Fryday umbrella. Honestly, I lean towards this approach and will be praying into a new name in the spirit of simplifying our purpose and returning to our humble beginnings.
Side note: For all you potential newbies out there, His Girl Fryday was birthed from a place of helping ministers balance work and church responsibilities and matured over time to include all vocationals as our biblical understanding of spiritual gifts broadened.
At the very least, I want to return to our premise and add fresh layers of insight to our library of resources. While the majority of 2021-22 posts likely lacked a direct impact into your personal life, Lys and I hope more of what we create moving forward will produce new life and motivation into the fabric of your day-to-day. Perhaps you can join me in reviewing the past two years’ worth of content through the lens of self and social awareness, specifically knowing how to journey people through their dark days and how to relate to those struggling with grief. To be fair, I’m sure there are many ways we can corporately receive the tenor of our writings outside the filters society demands, primarily relevance and prevalence.
All that said, I want to thank you as an audience for tolerating our randomness and sporadicness but more importantly, allowing us to take these recent years to share our hearts and journeys with you. The content clean-up will soon begin as new ideas take root and new series are conceived. No question, we count ourselves blessed as messengers equipped with words as arrows for such a time as this. We look forward to the future of this project and others on the verge of commencement as our family life continues to heal and settle.
Thanks again for being awesome ambassadors in your spheres.
So last Saturday during a yard sale Lys & I were hosting, a stranger with a limp and a cain approaches our driveway. A fresh face with a wallet in hand, we were excited about what appeared to be a serious prospect to liquidate some of our inventory.
Of course, as time and conversation would have it, our inkling would be confirmed. And after four hauls to her vehicle, a sit-down to catch our breaths would result.
Here is where it gets interesting…
During the next few minutes, Lys and the local start to discuss the reason for the sale and it comes to light this lady has a 17-year-old daughter who was born at 24 weeks, similar health issues to Juby though somehow she survived.
Suddenly, this divine appointment becomes a litmus test. After all, finding someone with a similar story at such a profound level shouldn’t be so easy. I mean, c’mon God, we were just starting to enjoy this time with our neighbor. Now, we get to hear of this alternative ending we wish was our own!?! Not cool, not fair. We don’t need this salt in our wound.
Granted, the daughter has endured a lifetime of health complications and surgeries. Certainly, the road would have been paved with hurdles galore had Juby survived. Still, what parent wouldn’t trade the hurdles for a lifetime, for the legacy of fighting to continue?
Whatever the case, despite the facial flatlines, Lys steers the dialogue into constructive territory…and by dialogue’s end, the finale is clear: Not only had we gained an intent of return but a mutual admiration of the moment and a friend through a unique and common bond. Who knew opening up your home and property could yield such fruitful returns?
My point in sharing this is simple: In the tale of life and death, there will be jealousies and the temptation to give into them. While on some days we will covet possessions, on others, we will envy testimonies and narratives. We will love our brother in an instant and in the next, be blindsighted with a ‘why’ that defies understanding.
If you find yourself in one of those situations, know as you’re faithful to live the Word, you can relish those involuntarily mental crossroads even when you catch a glimpse of what could have been. Again, if you’re letting God establish your steps, it doesn’t make sense to chase vain imaginations down those dead-end cul-de-sacs. Instead, believe in the One who ordains all things, who predestined them according to His purpose, who works all things according to the counsel of His will, and sets in motion the secret things that belong to Him while also revealing that which belongs to us.
Wonders without number that reflect the greatness of the Almighty…they will find you, sometimes when you least expect. And that’s okay. You may not think you’re ready, your emotions may seem chained to a crazy carousel. Whatever the case, live your life, abide by the Spirit, and when an open door skips the horizon to the front of your grill. walk through it and dare to be exposed. Who knows! You may just find that you’re further along than you think.
Note: I’m keeping this short and sweet in the spirit of book fodder. For now, as always…
Note: A more detailed analysis of this passage will be included in the Juby Journey book I’m working on. For now, I’m converting preliminary thoughts into the SOAP Bible study below to archive insight and encourage the saints in the short term.
As one dealing with grief, who went through the ringer last year while Juby was alive, I can’t help but resonate with this passage. Like the protagonist, Lys and I can relate to an afflicted daughter and the desperation for her deliverance. Granted, Juby was not demon-possessed but stricken with chronic lung disease. Still, as we cried out for Jesus, hopefully not to the chagrin of others, we discovered a posture far greater than a spiritual bookmark but of a daily exercise with reproducible influence.
Accordingly, without further ado, I’d like to unpack the remarkable faith of the Syrophoenician woman and how her hope can be a blueprint for those seeking restoration.
“And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, ‘Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.’ But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, ‘Send her away, for she is crying out after us.’ He answered, ‘I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.’ But she came and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, help me.’ And he answered, ‘It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” She said, ‘Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.’ Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.’ And her daughter was healed instantly.“
Observations
1. Before we can dive into the dialogue, we must first assess the setting. While time and place may seem arbitrary, in this case, they carry notable purpose. With the end in sight, Jesus withdrew with the disciples outside Jewish territory to prepare them for the Cross to come. His days numbered, Jesus realized some final exposures and tune-ups were necessary to groom them for life in ministry without His physical presence. As such, the fact He retreated to the hostile confines of Tyre and Sidon should not be perceived as random as Jesus desired to foreshadow the Gospel going out to all peoples. How amazing it is to know Jesus, even in His last days, never stopped breaking down barriers through radical love.
2. Fast-forward to the woman’s cameo, it’s interesting to note what she requests right out of the gate. Instead of healing or intervention, she addresses Jesus as ‘Son of David’ and calls for mercy, instantly acknowledging the Master’s identity, authority, and sovereignty in one swoop (v. 22). While intellectual origins are unknown, somehow, someway, she understood who Jesus was much to the surprise of the cohort. Per the importance of this sequence, we’ll break this down as we go.
3. I also find Jesus’ response to be somewhat peculiar: “But he did not answer her a word” (v. 23). This, to me, is a critical point to examine and requires us to broaden out to consider the context. Again, this will be explored in the points below.
4. Starting with the woman’s location and situation, we find her labeled as an unclean outsider despite her Canaanite designation and erroneously judged for her non-Israelite daughter’s condition. In terms of geography and timeline, we aren’t informed of any prior wonders performed in Tyre and Sidon prior to this passage. This adds a curious wrinkle to the story as one must wonder how a woman of this stature and status could recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
5. Going back to Jesus’ response, we find multiple motives. For the disciples citing the woman as a distraction, Jesus addresses their bias prior to answering her cry (v. 24):
“I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
The reason behind this is at least twofold: On one hand, Jesus wanted to remind the disciples who He was in light of what He came to do as clearly, a portion of the twelve were still pigeon-holing His kingship. On the other hand, Jesus’ intended His initial silence to be an opportunity for the woman to show patience…and resilience. From ‘have mercy’ to ‘help me’ in consecutive pleas (v. 25), the woman wasn’t just conveying poetic symmetry but reiterating Jesus’ mission. Already she had correctly identified Jesus as the Son of God (a full two chapters prior to Peter’s declaration in 16:16); now, she was begging Jesus to be consistent to her…
…what you do to Israel, please, Lord, do to me and my household as well.
6. In addition to the woman’s opening inquiry, I’m captivated by her posture. Even if she just said, ‘Son of David, please help me. My daughter is possessed’, Jesus would have recognized the woman’s understanding of His lordship through her positioning. While the woman’s kneel wasn’t evident during her first appeal, the fact Jesus gave the woman more time, in part, to let her go deeper in referencing Him was not part of instinctual circumstance. Rather, it was an intentional maneuver for her to anchor her surrender and confirm her awareness in front of a freshly humbled core of disciples.
7. The exchange between Jesus and the woman immediately following is arguably one of the most profound moments during His ministry. Up to this point, Jesus hasn’t said a word. Now ready, we again see the silence’s effect per His decision to test the depth and sincerity of her invitation. With the woman’s hopelessness on a timer, He uses the woman’s location and sense of identity as a means to assess her heart:
“It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs” (v. 26)
Here, Jesus elects to use ‘dog’ knowing the term was derogatory as a Gentile reference. To be a dog in Israel was to be regarded as a dirty, street scavenger; however, Jesus doesn’t associate the term to her poverty as much as her perceived sense of spiritual destitution. At the time, the rift between Jew and Gentile (between ‘clean’ and ‘unclean’) was still strong but, in a preview, we find a woman authenticating her hope while also foreshadowing the expiration of Gentile believers’ spiritual homelessness.
In the woman’s reply, “Yes, Lord; but even the pet dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their [young] masters’ table” (v. 27), we not only find confidence beyond imminent healing but in the salvation of her people. While the woman’s yieldedness was key as a demonstration of submission, Jesus knew this wasn’t simply a self-centered strategy to obtain instant results.
8. Finally, per the prior point, the significance of ‘crumb’ cannot be understated. For a “lost sheep of Israel” (v. 24) to be so hungry for Jesus that even a mere morsel would tell us the woman saw her situation as secondary to the power and presence of God. In essence, she accepts the status of a family’s dog knowing just a crumb of Jesus would be powerful enough to defeat the demon oppressing her daughter. No question, the woman had her priorities and perspectives set straight, almost as if she had anticipated the moment in advance.
Application
Despite its short duration, the passage carries immense application and universal relatability potential. Regardless of our situations, we can all identify and empathize with the Syrophoenician woman if not at least through her adamant clinging to hope in a bleak situation. Even when we’re struggling with our identity, a love deficit, and/or challenges outside our control, even when we feel stuck in a dark place, we can approach God in humility with thanksgiving acknowledging who He is and what He can do.
For some of you, you may have a loved one, a son or daughter, burdened by a disease or satanic assignment. You may feel the target on your back and paralyzed to shake it off. If this is you, don’t work to faith and prayer; start with faith and prayer. To the Lord of grace, ask for mercy and request His appointed portion of providence. If you’re lost, don’t deny the position but receive yourself as one worth saving. Like the woman, you may be deeply conscious of the misery of the soul, but this doesn’t disqualify you from bread of life crumbs.
For others, you may not have a grim circumstance on the board, but you may be thirsty to anticipate the proximity and power of God. While we don’t know exactly how the woman learned of Jesus before His arrival, we know she put herself in position to receive Him following His arrival. Like her, you don’t have to limit your bended knee to the moment. Rather you can extend it as a general posture wherever you go. Ask yourself, ‘Do I want more of Jesus? Do I want a fresh touch of Him today?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, know whatever He decides to give is more than enough even if what He offers is partly an invitation to go deeper.
Either way, dare to believe good things will happen when you seek Jesus and ask of God according to His will.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, we come before you today as we are. Heavy laden with our fears, anxieties, and insecurities, we lay them down in anticipation of what you’re going to do. Wemay feel “dogged” by life, by consequences of past decisions, by unforeseen trials and happenstances. But like Mary, we choose you ahead of any other commitment and priority in our life right now. We thank you for going before us but recognize your faithfulness before us now. For those who are hungry for you, we ask you provide something afresh to they may taste and see a new facet of your goodness. For those who don’t realize they’re hungry, guide and position them to discover the bread of life you carry. Stir in all of us an awakened passion to the wonder of you and help us to see even what we can’t control as opportunities for sharpening, pruning, and maturing. Whether or not we’re personally afflicted, we pray you prepare our hearts for inevitable testings to come and remember those who are going through tragedy, who are journeying through grief. Tend their hearts and make us sensitive to our part in nourishing them just as you are intentional in nourishing us. Whatever piece youintend to give, we receive itwith praise on our lips and gratitude in our hearts.In Jesus’ precious and holy name…
The most on-the-sleeve, off-the-cuff disciple. Ahead of his time, ahead of the curve.
You’ve perceived your Master with truth from the Father. Flesh hasn’t revealed it as you have concealed it.
Yet, as you sense His final approach, old habits kick in, you sink past reproach. You want to believe but can’t receive. You want to take part but can’t depart…this idea of loss. How can you take heart?
Though loyal to faults, you are rash in your state. A love for God’s Son meets enemy’s bait.
So you ‘buse your devotion pledging death prematurely.
You say you won’t stumble though records say contrary.
And abuse the blade though you once heard so clearly…I’ve not come to bring peace but a sword.
Stubborn as always, you’re one step behind now, a faith not yet ripe but not far from fruit. Your prayers lack direction though brim with affection. You want to be ready but still lack the steady. Whatever, you’re still holding on.
Imagine being Peter.
Called out by Jesus after vowing your allegiance. Exposed as a shape-shifter, weak as wheat, a coward. You think you are tested but the real test awaits.
While there’s no way to scale the weight of the moment, that bittersweet sting still rings in your ear.
For before He said, ‘Peter, the rooster will crow...’ (v. 34), He said, ‘But I’ve prayed for your faith to still grow‘ (v. 32). And not fail in turn amidst the great smothers. In time you will turn and strengthen your brothers.
And so you proceed to keep tracking and cracking. Heck, you tread water, but still much is lacking. Always bold, always proud, with cling lost in the shroud. Again, that is you, who you will be and then some. After all, who could fathom the darkness to come?
Whatever, you got this. no innocence to preserve. You’ll keep following the Master to whom you still serve. Your forward march, a prophecy unfolding in face, one woman, two men confirming disgrace.
You hear the crow and now you know. Jesus was right; there’s no need to fight.
And so, you’re still holding on.
Imagine being Peter.
Even before the Cross, Jesus was bearing your shame. Why else would He preview your restoration pre-sin? Your call to help others with grief still within?
I tell you why: ‘Cause He knows and He gets you! Your passion’s now fearless, a part of what’s new. Not to mention a prompt to process ahead and heal in front of the others in stead.
Or perhaps I should say it this way: Days from now, when most are still down, you’ll be on the rise with Him, back in stride with Him. From whom are still scattered with tears still bitter, your calling is now, your emotions are fitter. Once slow to conceive it, now quick to receive it. Your chance to eat crow, to make fishers soon after, will sharpen the sheep you tend well thereafter.
Fallen down once, your faith has not failed. ‘Tis why Jesus took it with hands and feet nailed.
